License plate lingo

I don’t think it’s attractive when a grown man uses nonexistent words such as gr8. You sound less like a college graduate and more like an 8-year-old girl.

Save this lingo for personalized license plates. Thanks.

*C

You need to not

 
You need to not:
Act like you read my profile..or wear Ed Hardy

*C

Tags: you need to not

Creep Quote

“I love awkward morning after situations because I’m forced to be out of the house early enough to catch McDonald’s breakfast.”

Mmmm.. mcgriddle.

Beemer, Benz, or Bentley?

I deleted my Plenty of Fish account because I would just find myself getting irritated after sifting through the bullshit that would plague my inbox. The guys on there for the most part are cheesy as fuck or as dumb as bricks.

I realize since I’m kind of crushing on someone I’ve hung out with a few times and C and I have been laying low- my blog may begin to lack. I knew I would get enough material if I just re-opened my POF account and I could write about creeps without ever leaving my place.

Anyway- so this guy sends me a message and I click on his profile to see what he’s about and I see the following:

Naturally, I’m going to be a smart ass… so I respond:

I’m cute? I’ll tell you what’s cute… the fact that you don’t drive any of the cars you’re standing next to and your grown ass is driving a Jetta, son. Get out of here with all that noise.

*H

♥ C

Creep Quote

“I don’t need a holiday to show you the love I have for you, unless it means I get more sex. In that case- Happy Valentines Day, Merry Christmas, Happy MLK day, Happy 4th of July, Happy Thanksgiving.”

*C

With Love From the Creep Sweep Girls…

Fuck You, Valentine’s Day!

Creep of the week: The Seat Sniffer Silly Kid

This week’s creep of the week is Silly Kid the Seat Sniffer. Yes, that’s right… seat sniffer.

While the creep sweep gals were at our usual hang out we ran into our friend and fellow creep. We had the booth and he and his friend had the wooden chairs. He got up for a little bit so C decided to sit in his chair so we weren’t so crammed. As Silly Kid came back, C politely went back to the booth to make room for him to re-join us. Before he took his seat he picked up the chair and swiped his nose along the seat like he was doing a line of coke. This guy took the biggest whiff of the chair and I nearly threw up in my mouth.

Thanks Adam for being our creep of the week as the Seat Sniffer.  This would make a great valentine’s gift for you!

♥ H

Who doesn’t?

Well Mr. Cactus Ranch,

I’d have to say yes. Who doesn’t?

*C

This is not a Star Wars romance.

I was excited to finally meet Mr. Dream Boat. This was the first time going on a date since my ego was bruised from the last failed attempt to find companionship.

This man quoted Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen. Instantly he won my heart with “I stumbled out of bed I got ready for the struggle.” We decided to go to a local museum for our first meeting. Conversation couldn’t fall flat with so many pieces of art to talk about, right? Well upon meeting him I did notice he was a lot shorter than stated and didn’t look so much like his photos. I can get over that, people exaggerate on the small things. Besides this man has his masters and a love for music and writing.
The date seemed a bit awkward. I did my part to keep up good conversation. Made a few jokes about myself to lighten the situation, but each time he really didn’t reciprocate. Okay, I thought ‘maybe he’s not interested’, until he came up behind me 3 different times with a bear hug. This was turning into an odd date. I felt uncomfortable but was very nice about it. The date continued and then he referenced Star Wars. Now the awkward hugs made sense. All this time I thought he had me in a bear hug, but it was really a wookie love grasp he was going for. Slowly his poetic mystery became comic-con geeky.

I agreed to go to dinner with him hoping this would turn around and maybe the attraction would come back. We talked about music, movies and books. On paper this sounds like my kind of guy, but once again I found myself pulling the conversation.

By the end of the night he walked me to our meeting spot. I turned to give him a hug and found myself in another wookie trap. This time my head was pulled in and next thing I knew, he was making out with my face! I tried to pull away 2 times and had no luck. I gave in a little, I figured maybe if I gave him a kiss he’d let me loose and I could escape. I finally pulled from his claw grasp and said I wasn’t into PDA. I quickly turned away and almost ran home! He is a cool guy, but was way to aggressive for his geeky persona.

I’m willing to let this dream boat set sail!
*C